Sephiroth, The Grocery Shopper
by xxHollowedNightmares
Summary: Sequel to Sephiroth, The Bedtime Storyteller! In which Cloud forces Sephiroth to come grocery shopping with him and the kids. Needless to say, chaos ensues... Rated M to be safe!


**A/N: I must say thank you to those who favorited and reviewed **_**Sephiroth, The Bedtime Storyteller**_**! This is the sequel to it, but you don't have to read the other one to understand what's going on in this.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own FFVII.**

**Warning(s): Language and a surprise at the end! :)**

* * *

_**Sephiroth, The Grocery Shopper**_

"Cloud, I don't see why I have to be here with you. You usually handle the grocery shopping by yourself and I stay home and watch over the boys."

"How is letting the boys play with fire materia and _accidentally_ letting them set our house on fire watching them?"

"We were doing target practice! How was I supposed to know that one of them would accidentally miss and end up hitting the house instead?"

"Well how smart do you have to be in order for you to set up the targets in the field in front of the house and _not _on the front porch? Doesn't take much brain cells the last time I checked…"

Sephiroth rolled his eyes as he pushed the shopping cart while following after his 'darling wife'. Ever since they moved into a nice size apartment in Neo-Midgar, Cloud had to make sure he brought up how stupid he was for letting the house catch on fire at least three times everyday for the past five months. Seriously, the blond needed to learn how to let it go… He'll admit that _maybe_ that it wasn't the best idea to have set up moving targets on the front porch, but at least the boys did learn how to use ice materia to put fires out and to make mommy stop yelling at daddy for a little while. Though that last lesson with the ice materia caused daddy to sleep outside on the grass with a busted lip and swollen eye when mommy and the children slept on the pull-out couch with blankets and pillows to keep them warm from the cool air that blew through the half burned down house, it was worth it.

"OUCH! Sephiroth pay attention!"

Sephiroth was brought out of his thoughts when he saw his scowling wife glaring at him.

"You ran my heel over with the cart you idiot!"

"I'm _soo _sorry… Did you need me to kiss it to make it feel better?" Sephiroth said while laughing. He stopped laughing when he saw Cloud fake smile before he placed a hand on the grocery cart and forcefully pushed it into him, sending Sephiroth and the cart flying into the fresh vegetable section with a loud crash.

"Mommy, will daddy be alright?" Kadaj asked as he saw people rush to pull Sephiroth out of the vegetables, but they stopped when the sprinklers turned on.

"I don't think he will be…he looks mad." Yazoo said.

"And wet…" Loz added.

"Don't worry about your father, kids. He'll be just fine…" Cloud said as he smiled down at his children sitting in his cart and began pushing the cart to where he knew the bread section would be.

* * *

It didn't take long for a wet hair and leather Sephiroth with wet and squeaky boots to catch up to his smirking wife and giggling kids.

"Seph, could pick up a bottle of syrup that's next to you?"

"Sure." Sephiroth said sarcastically as he picked up a bottle and handed it to Cloud.

"Thank- What the_ hell_ is that?"

"I believe it is called _syrup_ genius."

"It's called the wrong brand. I don't buy the store brand. I buy Banora Maple Syrup."

Sephiroth cut his eyes at Cloud.

"Does it really matter?"

"I wouldn't have told you the brand I normally get if it didn't."

Sephiroth turned around to find the specific brand Cloud was looking for. When he did, he noticed that it was fifty gil more and smaller than the one in his hand.

"I think you're better off going with the store brand." Sephiroth said as he tried to hand the bottle back to Cloud only to have his hand smacked away.

"And I think you're better off putting that crap in your hand back on the shelf and picking up the brand I told you to."

"But that one's fifty gil more and you get less syrup than you do with this one!" Sephiroth said as he motioned to the one he was holding.

"I don't care. Pick up the Banora Maple." Cloud said as he folded his arms and glared at Sephiroth as the children opened up a box of cereal in the shopping cart and began to eat some of it while ignoring their parents arguing.

"No. We're getting this one." Sephiroth said with narrowed eyes.

"No we aren't! We are getting the other one!"

"Why!" Sephiroth yelled. He was trying his best to control himself from becoming angry at his ever-persistent wife that rather spend more gil on a tiny bottle of syrup than on the bigger bottle, but Cloud was making it harder and harder to do so with his stubbornness.

"Because that one tastes better!" Cloud yelled back, attracting the attention of the shoppers that were around them. Sephiroth scoffed.

"Please Cloud, it's just syrup. Like it really matters what it tastes like."

"Then _you_ buy the crappy one for yourself and me and the kids will have the better one."

"That would be a waste of gil!"

"Then pick up the effing bottle of syrup I told you to so we can finish our grocery shopping!"

"I'm trying to help you save some gil!"

"You weren't doing that when you placed-"

"OH FOR THE LOVE OF GAIA LET IT GO ALREADY!" Sephiroth yelled as he threw the cheap syrup on to floor, making the bottle explode and syrup going everywhere in the aisle.

"I'm sick and tired of you bringing that up every damn day! Yes, it was my fault and yes I was stupid for setting up moving targets on the front porch! There I admit it and here!"

Sephiroth grabbed the bottle of Banora Maple Syrup and pushed into Cloud's arms.

"There's your effing bottle of syrup! Take it and shut up for once!" Sephiroth yelled before he pushed his cart towards the end of the breakfast aisle.

"Where are you going?" Cloud asked, with a hint of worry in his tone.

"Somewhere where _you_ can't get on my nerves!" Sephiroth yelled over his shoulder as he pushed his cart into a different aisle. Cloud sighed as he put the syrup into the cart and gasped when he saw the children eating the cereal.

"No kids! I didn't pay for that yet and you're going to spoil your dinner!"

"Sorry…" they said in reply as Kadaj handed the box to Cloud. Cloud grabbed the box and his eyes widened when he realized that the box was nearly empty.

"We were hungry." Yazoo said as Cloud shook his head before lightly laughing as he pushed his cart back to where the cereal was located to pick up another box.

* * *

Sephiroth found himself in the chip aisle and immediately became happy again. If there was one thing that he did love, it was chips. Barbeque chips. He quickly found his favorite brand of chips and kneeled down to grab them. When he was getting back up, something caught his eye and he grinned.

"_Hello_ mini-skirt…" Sephiroth said loud enough only for him to hear as he slowly stood back up and watched as the lady in the mini-skirt try to reach the chips on the top rack for a few minutes with a pervy grin on his face. He wasn't all that into women, there was still something about seeing them in mini-skirts that Sephiroth could never resist the urge from checking them out. Besides, it didn't count as cheating since he was just looking. He trailed his eyes upward and realized who it was that was wearing the mini-skirt.

"Good day . Need some help?" Sephiroth said with a grin on his face as he walked up to the startled woman. The last time he saw her, she was wearing a long skirt with the long slits in it, which Sephiroth secretly approved of as well.

"Oh, hey there Sephiroth. I didn't even know you leave the house yet alone be at a grocery store..." Tifa said with a smile. Though Sephiroth knew that Tifa still didn't like him as much as the rest of Cloud's friends did, they still held casual conversations.

"Trust me; I didn't come here_ willingly_… I see that you're in need of assistance. Mind if I help?"

"No I don't mind. Can you grab the cheesy poofs?"

"Sure." Sephiroth said as he grabbed the bag of chips, but since his gloves were still wet, the bag of chips slipped through his hand and fell on the floor.

"My apologies. I'll get you a better bag."

"It's okay." Tifa replied as she bent over to pick up the fallen bag of chips. Sephiroth noticed that her skirt had risen up in the back and, not wanting others to see her underwear, he reached around to tug it back down.

"Sephiroth?"

Sephiroth's eyes widened as he looked up to see Cloud at the other end of the aisle with a look of hurt and anger on his face.

"Oh shit…"

* * *

Cloud sighed as he went up and down each aisle searching for his husband after he finished half of the grocery list as the children started to whine about how hungry they were, even though they ate the mixed bag of fruit Cloud had picked up when they first arrived, almost a whole box of cereal, the fruit snacks, the pop tarts, and pretty much everything else that Cloud had put in the cart without him noticing.

"Alright. When we get to the chip aisle, I'll let you guys pick out a bag that you can eat in the cart, but you guys only get to eat _one_ bag so you three need to decided on what flavor when we get there."

"Okay!" The boys said happily and Cloud smiled before going back to his previous thoughts. He knew Sephiroth would still be mad at him about the syrup argument, but the least he could do was apologize and pick up his favorite brand of barbeque chips to make him feel better. After all, it's not really Sephiroth's fault that he'd been yelling at him non-stop as of lately. Cloud needed to tell him something important and he wasn't sure how he would react and fearing that he would react the same way as he previously did, he'd been taking his frustration out on him in the wrong way. When he turned into the chip aisle, he paused in shock as he felt tears well up in his eyes. There his husband was, grabbing Tifa's ass while she was acting like there was nothing wrong at all. Luckily, the children were still talking to themselves and didn't see what their father was doing. Never in a million years did he think that Sephiroth was the type of person that would cheat on him, and with his best friend that was a woman no less. He wasn't like that…was he?

"Sephiroth?"

When he saw Sephiroth look up at him with wide eyes, his suspicion was confirmed.

"Kids, stay in the cart okay?" Cloud said as he moved the cart to the other side of the aisle.

"Okay mommy." The children said as they saw a jar of peanut butter with jelly in it they wanted on the shelf. Cloud walked up to his husband with his hurt quickly becoming anger.

"Cloud; seriously, it's not what-"

Cloud didn't wait for Sephiroth to finish his sentence as he pulled his arm back and delivered a powerful punch to Sephiroth's eye, making him crash into the bags of chips and the entire wall of chips slowly tip over before quickly crashing to the ground, making the other customers scream in shock as assorted chips flew into the air.

"Oh my- Cloud! Why did you do that?" Tifa said as she came out of her dazed and confused state.

"What do mean why! My husband was grabbing your ass and you were letting him do it!" Cloud said, still fighting the tears that wanted to be released.

"No he wasn't! He was being a gentleman and pulling my skirt down after I bent over to pick up the bag of chips he accidentally dropped on the floor when I asked him to help me get it!" Tifa said with narrowed eyes. Cloud blinked in confusion. He…wasn't expecting that…

"…What?"

"Yeah… If I were you, I'd make his favorite dinner tonight…" Tifa said as she walked away after she picked up an unopened bag of cheesy poofs. Cloud sighed. He would need to do a lot more than that to make him in a better mood than he'll be in when he comes to.

* * *

"Seph… I'm sorry. I didn't mean-"

"_Sir_, if you would_ please_ let go of my arm." Sephiroth said in an emotionless tone as they waited at the check out station for the person in front of them to finish ringing up their groceries. He didn't feel like hearing Cloud apologize or hearing any excuses as to why there were now umpteen different kinds of chips stuck in his still wet hair and why he can't see out of his right eye. All he wanted to do was go home and take a nice long bath in peace and quiet before he burned the damn supermarket down for the customers laughing at him. He immediately felt better when he felt Cloud let go of his arm, but sighed when he heard his voice.

"I know you're mad, but I-"

"_Cloud_, I'll be fine. I can handle being _humiliated_ by you in a grocery store; I've had worse…"

"What's worse than being smashed into vegetables and chips and having a black eye?"

"Being _killed_ three times..."

Luckily that shut him up. Sephiroth closed his eyes and let out a long sigh. This would be the first and the _last_ time he ever went to a grocery store with Cloud.

"What the- Boys! Where's all of the food that I put into the cart!"

"Uh-oh…"

_Correction_, this would be the first and the last time he ever went to the grocery store with Cloud _and _the children. And with that in mind, Sephiroth began to laugh…not caring how hysterical it sounded…

* * *

After he left Cloud in the grocery store to re-do the grocery shopping and to pay for the damages they caused as he took the kids with him to go and sit in the car and wait, he hadn't talked to him for the rest of the day. The boys went to sleep after he _read _them a bedtime story and he decided to take his peace and quiet bath after he exited their room. He'd been relaxing for half an hour or so before he heard a soft knock on the bathroom door and growled when he realized who it was.

"Seph, can I come in?" he heard Cloud quietly ask.

"Yeah..." Sephiroth said before he sighed and closed his eyes. He heard the door open and close slowly and the soft sound of feet stepping on the floor. He opened one eye before quickly opening the other in realization that Cloud was naked. He didn't say anything when Cloud climbed into the tub and rested his body against his. Sephiroth gave in and grabbed the sponge and began to wash his wife, who moaned and kissed his chest in appreciation.

"Seph, I'm pregnant."

Sephiroth stopped moving the sponge along Cloud's back. He was about to say something but Cloud continued talking.

"I found out a few days ago… I…I didn't know how to tell you and every time I went to try, you ended up doing something 'not so smart' and I would get so angry with you because of what you did and me not being able to tell you then… I-"

Sephiroth cut Cloud off with a kiss.

"I'm not going to leave you if that's what you were afraid of… It's alright." Sephiroth said with a smile before smirking.

"But I'll forgive you for now…and since you_ owe_ me Mommy and Daddy Time…"

Cloud smiled before he leaned up and kissed his husband in excitement. Before they could take a step further, a loud scream form Yazoo stopped them.

"Mommy! Daddy! There are mouses in our room!"

Sephiroth and Cloud stared at each other.

"I'm not getting them!" Cloud quickly said as he got out of the tub and motioned for Sephiroth to get out of the tub. Sephiroth sighed before he got out of the tub and wrapped a towel around himself before going to inspect the children's room. In the end, Sephiroth and Cloud took another hot bath and Sephiroth fiercely scrubbed his hands after removing the rodents from the children's room and putting them into a large cardboard box since the children wanted to keep them as pets, much to his and Cloud's disapproval, but somehow they ended up giving in to keeping them. It wasn't 'mouses' as Yazoo put it that he found in their room, it was two _very_ large gray and black rats that ended up being named Bahamut and Behemoth. But hey, at least Sephiroth got his Mommy and Daddy Time.

_**The End :)**_

* * *

**A/N: Can you imagine finding rats in your room when you're trying to sleep? DX There will be a third installment that will be released soon! :)**

**R&R**

**-**_**KTK**_


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